Switching Things Up

Asher had a hard time settling down for his afternoon nap.  Ben and I tried putting him in his crib, and after crying for about 15 minutes, there was a brief period of silence.  Thinking maybe he magically fell asleep, I crept back in to check things out.  Asher was sitting straight up in his crib with his arms crossed in front of his chest.  He was waiting for me.  When he saw me, he pointed at a piece of paper he had tacked to the wooden slats.  I picked it up and read....

"Dear Mom ,

I know what you're doing here. I've been reading your blog and I like your idea about making me sleep.  *Pause for effect* Bahahahahahahaha!!!   It's not happening, here's why:

1.  Cribs were made for rolling over and doing yoga.  The mattress is the perfect combination of firm and      soft, so I can push off and move around but it doesn't hurt when my face smushes into it.

2.  You, on the other hand, were made for me to sleep on.  You are a soft and squishy human pillow.

3.  Let's be honest.  You've got big dreams, but your follow through sucks.  I know this.  You know this.  Let's just call a spade a spade and let me do exactly what I want when it comes to sleep.

I'm not completely unreasonable.  I will sleep in my crib if you do a few things for me first.  Here is my list of demands:

1.  When you can make the crib heated with a heartbeat, I will consider sleeping in it.

2.  Until then, please keep putting me in it.  All the cobra poses I'm doing are really strengthening my core.

3.  I'd like to start taking baths in your tub.  It's much bigger and I think I could splash more.  Also, I'd like bubbles.

4.  I want to eat ice cream.  I see you do it all the time.  And I don't like that you don't share.

Love,
Asher

P.S.  I understand that you have taken to calling me the Tiny Dictator behind my back.  A) I prefer the Itty Bitty Despot, B) En garde."

In light of this note, we have decided to fast track sleep training, only we are keeping it under wraps so the Itty Bitty Despot doesn't know it's coming.  Instead of starting August 2nd, we are starting July 29th.  Shhhh......