The Kindness of Strangers...OR...That time I tried to adopt Asher out to a family of swamp-dwelling raccoons.

The one place I miss in Albuquerque is the botanical garden, so this morning Asher and I ventured to the Central Park Arboretum for some nature time.  I packed a ton of snacks, we left in the most pleasant of moods, and it was a gorgeous day.  What could have possible gone wrong?

Let's just say I [continue to] seriously underestimate the ability of a 2-year old to unexpectedly (and for no good reason) flip a perfectly lovely outing right on its ass.

So far so good...

Playing in the fountain...still going good

Loving the trails and the tall grass..nothin' has hit the fan yet...

BABY FROGS!

The path was covered in the teeniest tiniest baby frogs.  My heart exploded.  

Asher and I had a ball finding them then watching them hop hop hop over to the marsh...

....a ball, until Asher decided to stomp a baby frog.  

You can just imagine the amount of coaching and reinforcement that had taken place ahead of it, "Gentle...don't touch....careful...we are nice to baby frogs...he is so little...look how cute!".  When Asher started edging closer to one, I said again, "Asher careful, we don't stomp living things, especially not baby frogs."  Which is when he completely disregarded my instruction and *STOMP*.  Well.  That didn't go over well.  I yelled (no really, yelled) "We do NOT stomp baby frogs!" and swooped in to pick him up and see if the frog survived (...no dice).  Which then led to another very stern (this time not yelling, in my defense) "ASHER.  We do NOT stomp on animals.  That is mean and it hurts them!".  Well that was not well received.  

Apparently I stomped on Asher's feelings & sense of autonomy because he then lost his mind. 

What followed was a good 30-40 minutes of all out hysterics in the middle of a nature reserve.  

It started with Asher sitting in the middle of the path, sobbing.

That didn't achieve the outcome he wanted, which was for me, 7 months pregnant, to pick him up, snuggle him like nothing had happened, and carry him out of the park.  A good half mile walk, which is a big job for anyone with a 30 pound kid, but an impossible job for a super pregnant lady.  Also important to keep in mind - while I love my child ENORMOUSLY, anyone who stomps on baby frogs is on my list.  Anyone.  So Asher is yelling "Uppy! Uppy! Uppy!" at me and I'm saying "I'm not  picking you up and carrying you" (at this point I'm thinking the pair of red-winged blackbirds that have been observing this whole scene would make a great foster family for Asher...could I sneak out of the park without anyone realizing he belonged to me? ...half kidding...) which is when he decides to roll his way over to the swampy wet grass on the side of the path and submerge himself in a puddle.  Leading to more hysterics because he got wet and dirty. At this point I literally just sort of gave up and sat down on the pavement next to him.  My plan was to just hang out until he stopped crying.  There weren't a lot of options other than this... Plan B was to drag him out by his ankles but I thought that would be questioned by the park ranger.

This is when strangers saved the day.  Not because it changed anything about Asher's behavior (he remained a pint-sized lunatic despite numerous, well-intentioned interventions), but because right then what I needed was to be reminded that the world is a good and kind place. 

One woman stopped with her dog to try to distract Asher, and when she realized what was happening, explained to him that she couldn't carry her dog out of the park and he had to walk...just like Asher should.  Another man stopped and did a Donald Duck impression.  One sweet lady tried to help carry him, which failed miserably, but still lovely of her to offer/try.  And a different person gave me a reassuring pat on the back and said "Toddlers are hard".  Thank you, lovely Minnesotans.  You are the greatest people on earth.

We finally made it back to the parking lot.  It wasn't pretty, but we made it.

When we got back, Karen had just arrived home too.  Asher ran to his Grandma (eager to escape his still very frustrated and disapproving mother) and when she picked him up he said, sheepishly, "...stomped baby frog".  He said it quietly, I think he was trying to hide his confession from me. I went straight to the kitchen, made myself an iced mocha, and started dunking birthday cake oreos in my big-kid-chocolate-milk until I felt better.  P.S. Getting past an epic frog-stomping-2-year-old-meltdown-in-public takes a LOT OF OREOS.

Drawing Daddy

Asher asked me to draw daddy today, which quickly turned into Asher drawing daddy. Which is adorable.

Fridays with Firemen!

Today was "Friday with Firemen" at the Roseville Fire Department.  

Asher got to climb around in the trucks, push a billion buttons, play with walkie talkies, and shoot the fire hose, while mom and Grandma scrambled around making sure he didn't get into too much trouble (turns out Asher can get into A LOT of trouble in a fire station if not supervised very carefully...).  

Taking his faux fireman duties very seriously....

Driving the truck

Super unhappy about being taken out of the truck to get his picture taken...

Grandma said it best "But mom, real firemen stay INSIDE the truck!"

Walkies talkies galore!

Mommy's turn to drive!

Of course, ours is the kid who refuses to get in line to shoot the hose and instead chooses to be target practice...until a very nice *real* fireman hinted that this wasn't such a good idea.  Apparently getting blasted by a fire hose could be pretty unpleasant for a 2 year old... 

Not ready to leave.  Asher loves the fire station.

Asher's Favorite New Game

Asher has a new favorite game: he draws a scribble then asks you to tell him what it is.  We could play for hours.

Asher Fails Swimming Lessons... but we all come out winners :)

I'm not used to anyone other than Harlan getting report cards!  Asher had his last swimming lesson today and boy oh boy did he come far.  Last Monday he cried for almost 30 minutes straight and wouldn't let go of me in the water.  Today he jumped off the wall into the water, stuck his face in to blow bubbles, paddled around with his hands while madly kicking his feet (in pursuit of rubber duckies) and let Sami the teacher swim around with him.  But while he came so far, it was not enough to graduate from a Sea Lion to a Seahorse.  In order to do that, Asher would have to be willing to get in the water without Ben or I in the pool with him, and super perceptive Sami knew that despite enormous progress, there is no way Asher would be game for that.   

So a Sea Lion he remains (a damn cute one at that) and we will continue to warm him up to water on beaches and at lakes for the rest of the summer :)

Minnesota

So the short version is that Asher & I are living in Minnesota.  In Karen & Jim's basement.  Probably for a good 5-6 months.  Without Ben & Harlan.  And we have been here since May 15th.

The long version is that the doctors in Albuquerque were trying to kill me and our unborn child...so at the beginning of May, Ben and I made an executive decision that the safest place to finish the pregnancy was in Minnesota.  

In April we had been told that I had complete placenta previa, was a life-threatening hemorrhage risk (...no really, I was carrying around 'medical alert' cards in my wallet and taped on my phone that instructed the poor soul who found me unconscious in a puddle of my own blood to call 911 and tell them I was XX weeks pregnant with placenta previa and that my blood type is B+), and likely had (based on 'vascular impressions on ultrasound') something call placenta accreta, which has a 10% maternal mortality rate and requires a cesaerean hysterectomy at the time of delivery.  We were told by our OB and perinatalogist in ABQ that I had to be within ambulance distance of a Level III or IV NICU at all times and that the chance of me being hospitalized for weeks (possibly months) following a 'surprise!' hemorrhage was pretty much 100%.  Family meetings had included discussions of blood banking to prepare for the possible 5 liters of transfused blood (the average for women with placenta accreta) and activity and travel restrictions were implemented.

Luckily, our families were 100% on board with our feelings about experiencing all of these eventualities in the Land of Enchantment.   FMLA paperwork was prepared, tickets were bought, and within a week Asher and I were out of there.  

We were also incredibly lucky that our friend Ruthie connected us to her father, a Minneapolis-based perinatalogist, and Dr. Calvin was able to get us in to see Minnesota Perinatal Physicians within days of our arrival home.  That visit confirmed that our decision to leave Albuquerque was a good one. First, we learned that the placenta issues diagnosed in ABQ were actually non-issues (there was no complete previa and definitely no accreta).  But there were other things that needed follow-up that the doctors back in New Mexico had completely dropped the ball on.  Since being in Minnesota I've had an EKG, holter monitoring, and met with a cardiologist.  I've seen endocrinology, been referred to rheumatology, and will have weekly biophysical profile and non-stress test/ultrasound appointments of the baby at least weekly from here on out.  It would seem the laid back "let's just see what happens" approach of my providers down south was not actually safe or adequate.

The good news is that things are actually going really well health-wise.  Our little guy is content and active (and big!) at 31 weeks, and I am feeling really good as well.   My 'problem list' is a bit ominous (despite everything being well-controlled at the moment) so I will not be getting transferred to an OB; the perinatalogy team will follow us weekly for the rest of the pregnancy and deliver our little dude at the end of August.  We are in good hands and let's face it, it was never in the cards for me to have a natural home birth in the tub (phew right Karen and Jim?! ...I mean, at this point, it would be your tub).  

Ben continues to job hunt for opportunities in Minnesota and is traveling up here at least every 2 weeks until the end of August (unfortunately, he is bound to Albuquerque until something comes through job-wise up here...apparently someone in his family needs health insurance?).  Harlan was relocated to Mankato and is spending his summer vacation with Layla (thank you Dad and Jo!) so that Ben can hop on a plane at any minute without having to worry about boarding Herb.   I am a spoiled, spoiled lady myself.  I am so grateful for the relationships I have with Ben's parents, which make this situation a gift (both in that we love our time here AND they are graciously letting us stickify their entire house with gooey toddler fingerprints).  We have a comfortable 'basement suite' and we spend our days enjoying the grass and the lakes and our family and friends.   Our lives are busy with doctors appointments, working full-time, swim and music lessons for Asher, trips to Mankato, and living on a strict Asher-centric schedule (we are finally back on track with his sleep after a rough transition period).   But of course missing Ben and Harlan is always on our minds.  On that note, I need to publicly acknowledge how incredible my husband is: that he did not, for a single second, hesitate when it came to making the right decision for my health/the baby's health.  Even though it means he has to be away from Asher for a few months, which is incredibly difficult because Asher is awesome, there isn't a single part of Ben that knows how to do it any differently.  He is ferociously protective of his family, even when there is a great personal cost.  I love you.

We kept our arrival in Minnesota under wraps not knowing what my health status would be (we really didn't get the 'green light' on day-to-day health until last Friday) or how Asher would adjust, but man, we've been here almost 6 weeks now and I suppose it's time to reveal our whereabouts.

This is what we've been up to the last couple of weeks...

Hanging out at the park.

Grandma Karen & Aidan got Asher his first sandbox.

Checking out Spring Lake with Family Bruss.

Contemplating the mysteries of the world (...or thinking about popsicles and dinosaurs..).

Transitioning to a big boy bed! ...like a boss.

Post-swimming lesson ritual with Grandma- Asher gets blow dried from head to toe to warm up.  

He isn't spoiled at all...

Waffles for dinner.

Nature walks with daddy.

Beach time with Daddy.

And Grandpa Jim!

...sleeping hard (finally!).

Playing the piano at the Red Balloon Bookstore.

Swimming lessons with Daddy & Mommy.

Asher-less lake time with Tim & Steph

Family beach time.

Asher's First Swimming Lesson

Asher had his first swimming lesson yesterday!  He is a Sealion at the YMCA, and lucky us, he is the only kid in his class.  There is a little girl a level above him who has a lesson at the same time in the next lane.  Initially they thought maybe they could combine their two 'classes', but after the first lesson I think it is safe to say that we will be spending the next 2 weeks as a Sealion (someone doesn't love being carried out into open water...not naming any names....Asher). 

Hmmm, this could be interesting....

Getting into the water.  Hurdle #1.  

(Mama is 30 weeks pregnant and happy to be in a pool!)

So far so good...

Pep talk to actually get into the pool.

....sometimes swimming is hard...

Celebratory icecream at DQ after the first lesson (evidence: Asher's face)

Thank you Auntie Tractor for letting us borrow Mac's scooter!