Tree Time.

 

A lot of gratitude.

We spent a lot of time talking about the importance of gratitude - and eating too much pie and drinking too much wine. It was a good day.

Mostly thankful for this old man.

 

My smile is broken.

True story. Ben and I tried to take lots of pictures Thursday- but turns out, my smile is broken.

I'm losing sleep anticipating what our world looks like 20 days from now, when the consequences of people gathering for Thanksgiving catch up to us. We (public health) have been dreading the next 8 weeks since when we realized we were in for a fall/winter surge. The timing of holidays has scared us for months, and now we are here. While this initial fall surge happened over the course of weeks with a somewhat uneven distribution of exposures/infections, the enormity of so many people gathering on the same day will play out on a catastrophic timeline. We won't see the effect of it immediately- it will be insidiously lurking below the surface, while the 40% of people now infected who are completely asymptomatic continue to spread COVID at an exponential rate. And it will take us right up to Christmas. Where people will, despite the begging and pleading of public health officials, of the physicians and nurses who will have to care for them, gather again. And by the middle of January, we are going to see hospitals out of capacity, workforces in crisis because so many people are quarantined and sick, and death counts at least double what they are now. 

And this breaks my heart. Because how dark our days are about to be is unimaginable. It breaks my heart because in the last three days I've learned of a teammate losing her father-in-law in Mankato to COVID, and of a significant increase in the number of people I know and love who are now exposed, anxiously waiting for results. It breaks my heart because the impact of the holidays goes so far beyond ones own household. The reason for our most recent Executive Order prohibiting social gatherings, holiday gatherings, was to maintain hospital capacity so that people don't die in hallways and parking garages and wherever else we might have to set up overflow when the number of people needing care exceeds the space available in our world class hospital systems in Minnesota. It is so that people who need hospital-level care can get it. And here is the biggest thing about that. Not everyone is created equal in the eyes of COVID- it isn't proportionately impacting populations. Black Minnesotans make up 6% of our state's population. But they comprise 9% of COVID cases, 13% of hospitalizations, and 14% of all ICU stays. Similarly those who identify as Hispanic make up 5% of Minnesota's overall population, but are 9% of overall COVID cases, 10% of hospitalizations, and 12% of ICU stays. And very close to my heart, the thing that keeps me up at night the most-- while only 6% of all COVID cases in Minnesota require hospitalization, 33% of COVID+ people experiencing homelessness will need to be hospitalized-- due to multiple factors like their higher prevalence of underlying conditions, inability to access early care, etc. And while only 1% of COVID positives cases statewide end up needing ICU-level care, 6% of people experiencing homelessness with COVID will need an ICU. There are communities of people who have been historically, and currently, made to be more vulnerable to COVID, those same people are more likely to need hospitals. And those same people are going to be hurt the most when hospitals are overrun because people felt like their family was somehow unique, their situation more safe than anyone else's who disregarded the Order and gathered.

Frontline staff show pictures of their bruised faces after wearing N95s for whole shifts (thank you front line workers!!!!). But there is a whole sector of workers who have also been getting their asses kicked for 10 months. We are the people putting to work our training in infectious disease epidemiology, our understanding of the complexities of systems and disaster response, our core belief that the health disparities that impact people every day are made a million times worse during a pandemic. We are trying to keep people from dying not by administering life saving treatments in the ER, but by asking people, collectively, as a community, to implement guidance that will prevent the flooding of hospitals from happening in the first place. And in doing so, we have had our jobs threatened, our integrity questioned- we've been called names and been screamed at. We've been accused of unthinkable things and in some cases, received actual threats of harm. And yet we get up every day and we do it again. But I have to tell you, it is really, really hard to have hope and to keep going to work every day when people are not listening to what needs to happen to protect the most vulnerable people in their communities. The day after Thanksgiving I started responding to the newest major outbreak in a homeless shelter. This time "only" 16 cases in one day after mass testing in this one particular shelter. As we walked through how to quarantine and when to test again, my heart sunk thinking about where we will be in three weeks. How this all impacts this incredible, resilient community who has made it until November 28th with only 3 deaths from COVID. 

Pictures of us don't have have dents in our cheeks from PPE, but our smiles are long gone. We have dark circles under our eyes and a lot of new wrinkles. We aren't sleeping anymore.

The worst fake smile ever....

And then I just actually started crying while trying to smile, which just happens now.

 

Orchids & Holiday Fun

We pulled Sullivan out of preschool last week to be extra COVID-safe (and anticipating a big post-Thanksgiving surge) and are now learning how to keep ourselves fully entertained and sane. 

One of those amazing examples of kids art providing parents with endless comic relief....

 

We are going to be okay.

November 7th, little boys, is going to be remembered as a really important day in your lives. It was the day that love and kindness triumphed over hate, and history was made. Kamala Harris is the first Black woman to be elected Vice President of the United States. She is also the first person of South Asian descent to be elected to the White House. After years of our President encouraging outright racism and violence- the diversity of our country is going to be reflected in our White House and our cabinet. President Biden promises to bring us back together, to strengthen the U.S. And overwhelmingly, people in this country voted for that. To see things get better. 

As a mom, this day gave me hope. The world you're growing up in will be okay. The things we value in this family, they matter. 

We had a lot of conversations in our family about this election. It was a time to talk to you about the importance of making your voice heard through voting, about why we- as your parents- voted for the people we did. This family voted for change. We voted for people who have lost loved ones from COVID. We voted for the people we love in same sex marriages. We voted for the people we know, myself included, who have pre-existing conditions and rely on accessible and inclusive healthcare. We voted for our family and friends who are Black, Indigenous, and from communities of color who deserve to grow up with the same safety and opportunities as those who are white. We voted because we love this country and want to see it grow and heal. 

What does it mean that Biden is President?

Sully: "The mean ones don't get to be the boss. Biden is a nice one. And he wears a mask. He gets to be President."

Family celebration 💓

Harlan.

Har did a lot of walking yesterday and is having a very mellow day today. But he is getting in some real good snuggles.

 

Happy Halloween.

My heart last night... Our neighborhood rallied to create a safe, memorable trick-or-treating experience for the kiddos- and it was beautiful. People sat in their yards in lawn chairs around bonfires with creative ways to get kids their treats. It was exactly what I needed to see after 7 months of COVID response. The absolute best of humans.

Sully moving our treat bags to the front yard.

What were our costumes this year? We're "2020 Parents" -- there's fireball in the coffee mugs. Nailed it.

Our first stop: favorite house on the block. Trick-or-treating at Barb's.

And the last activity of the night- going through every piece of candy and weeding out the ones with egg (which is A LOT). 

 

A safe and wonderful Halloween! Success!!

 

Winter Wonderland in October

The very best art. :)