Days Like Today

I don't know about the rest of you, but today has me uneasy.  It has me angry, sad, uncomfortable, wishing for answers, questioning what kind of world we live in, and not sure where I fit into making change.

Racism hits me in a different way since I've become a mom.  Not because I see more sadness or because suddenly injustice and disparity are more apparent.  It's not because of what is, it is because of what isn't.   As a white mom of a white son, I'm not up at night worrying about what might happen if someday Asher gets pulled over by the cops during a routine traffic stop.  I'm not worried that he might be mistaken as a suspect in an open investigation and be shot while walking home from school.  I won't have to wonder if his teachers are going to make assumptions about his intelligence or his capabilities based on the color of his skin, that employers will think twice about how he would fit in with the "culture" of their workplace, that he will be out-offered and out-earned in this world because of how he looks.  I'm not worried that the perceived discrimination he feels throughout his life will affect his long-term health.  I'm not worried that he might die young because of someone else's prejudice and hate.   And what the F is that.  How is it that I have this "gift" of not worrying about these things simply because I was born white and my son was born white, but my friends and my family, who are mothers of black children, can't say the same.

While I brainstorm (and solicit feedback for things to do- example, a colleague from school recently posted that two of her favorite things are feeling safe and books and that she was making a donation to the Ferguson public library and encouraged others to do the same) the thing I will focus on in the moment is to parent purposefully.  To try my very best to raise a child with a gigantic open heart who sees differences and celebrates them.  Who isn't afraid of things that are uncomfortable and hard to talk about and even harder to change.

The public health part of me thinks that an area that I can focus on are the rates of incarceration and recidivism among non-whites compared to whites.  Spoiler alert: this is a HUGE problem on so many levels.  But I don't know.  This is one of those "where do you start?"s -- and like gun violence, school shootings, sexual assault on college campuses-- news coverage and heart wrenching dialogue hasn't really made a big dent.

Whoever's got answers, I'd love to hear them.



Things Worth Watching/Reading:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_98ojjIZDI

http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/ferguson-wasnt-black-rage-against-copsit-was-white-rage-against-progress/2014/08/29/3055e3f4-2d75-11e4-bb9b-997ae96fad33_story.html

http://qz.com/250701/12-things-white-people-can-do-now-because-ferguson/




Side Note Hours Later:
Ask me how happy I am that I'm married to someone who comes home and while playing with our son and watching Baby Einstein puppets engages in an hours long conversation about race relations in the U.S.  Just ask.