That Time Being at Duck Pond Reminds You of Being Single in a Bar on Crown Street

Stereotypes be damned... I found east coasters to be the nicest people.  They weren't rude or hurried or uptight or hoighty toighty (okay maaaybe a little hoighty toighty compared to my native Minnesotans...our Panera's don't have lobster rolls on the menu back home).  But very nice and for the most part, totally normal.  That being said, east coast men in their 20s and 30s, were unique in one way.  Their laughably highfalutin pickup behavior.  In Minnesota you don't lead with your salary or countdown in years until you're a VP.  You certainly don't start with "I go to Yale" or with "I'm a heart doctor" (Carly Leggett- my favorite bar exchange in the history of bar exchanges and I am so happy we shared it).  And maybe this was unique to New Haven, maybe even the five block radius around my apartment, but man was it ever entertaining.  (Ask me how many times one of those pick up lines led to a first date?  Okay, to be fair it did once, but the opening line was "I served as legal counsel for the Prime Minister of Saudi Arabia" - come on, that's interesting as all get out- dudes best friend was a Saudi prince!).

Today I saw a situation that brought me right back to those days.  I took about a hundred pictures of this peahen ignoring super persistent displays of interest, dang I was proud of her.

Peacocks Play Preppy Pickuppers

Peacock 1: "You, peahen!  I see you are trying to drink your whiskey sour in peace.  I will join you.  I am the youngest VP in my company's history.  Allow me to tell you all about myself, my name is Sebastian.  I'm sure you can already tell by the fluttering of my feathers, but I'm kind of a big deal."

Peacock 2: "Sebastian! [runs over to Sebastian, but tries to look really cool and like he isn't running] I called dibs on that peahen!  Peahen!  Can I buy you a Stella, I could buy you fifty, I make six figures a year.  We could take them to go and enjoy them on my sailboat?"

Peahen moves tables so that her back is to her suitors.  Does not engage.  Continues eating her cheese fries and drinking her whiskey.

Peacock 2: Whispers to Peacock 1 - "Sterling, this peahen is playing hard to get, 

what else do you got?"

Peacock 1: "Peahen!  I have two tickets to the U.S. Open, would you like to join me?  Oh, you aren't sure?  Perhaps a tennis bracelet would help you decide... you can wear it at the U.S. Open."

Peacock 2: "Peahen!  PEAHEN! PEAHEN!"

Peacock 1: "Lookatuslookatuslookatuslookatuslookatus"

Peahen:  Looks up in search of a yet another new table.  Sees unassuming dude sharing his cheese fries with friends.  Whoa whoa whoa, that dude is sharing food!  "You sir!  Buy me a beer?"

Peacock 1:  "Dammit Sebastian, it looks like peahen is saddling up with the riffraff."

Peacock 2:  "Her loss, Sterling.  Clearly she doesn't understand how awesome we are.  Come on, let's go to a different bar."

Five minutes later...

Peacock 1: "You, tiny duck, look how large and stupendous my plumage is.  Aren't the brilliant blue feathers marvelous?  Irresistible even? I was the youngest VP in the history of my company..."